Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Week 2 Story: The Legend of the Rebbarg Eciov




The Legend of the Rebbarg Eciov


By Maria Dawson

This is what I picture the infamous cave to look like on Mt. Rehgih. Picture by: Rafael SaldaƱa named "old mine entrance".


Tucked away at the top of a snowy mountain lay a cave said to be home of the rebbarg eciov. This legendary being is known to steal the voices of those who bring conflict into its home on the top of Mount Rehgih.  

“Hey, Harry, I thought I told you to grab the matchstick from the car,” says our first brave soul coming to track this legendary being.

“Man, would you just look in your backpack before you ask me dumb questions, John” Replies Harry, John’s companion for this outing.

“Ope, found it, say do you really think we will be able to spot the ebbarg eciov today?” asked Harry.

“Well, I can tell you what I do know” answers, John. “First, once we get to the mouth of the cave we can not speak. Second, legend has it there will be whispers talking to us trying to get us to talk but we can not reciprocate. Third, caves are dark”.

“No bull they are dark hints why I asked about the flashlight! Anyways I am not scared of any whispers nothing in that cave can hurt me” declares Harry.

The two climb their way up the 1,500 ft. elevation from the base of the mountain to the opening of the cave. Signs read out “DO NOT ENTER REBBARG ECIOV LIVES”.

“Stupid Hoax,” says Harry while reading the signs.

“Hey now let’s just get our duct tape over our mouths and finish what we came here to do, it is too early to rile up the gods” implies John.

The two stop to take a drink and a few breathes before preceding to duct tape their mouths as a barrier. After a couple of minutes, the boys head with one hand over their mouth and a flashlight in the other.

The cave is very quiet at first the only audible sound is the whistling of the wind and the blood rushing through their bodies. Once they have been walking a solid minute into the cave the whistle seems to now sound like a humming.

The men look at each other with a puzzled look on their face almost to say, “Do you hear that too?” Just then a sharp voice says, “Hello John. Hello, Harry”. They stop in their tracks in disbelief, could this really be the rebbarg eciov?

Now listening to the wind very hard they can start to make out a chant as is someone was right behind them saying “I know your deepest secrets John” “I know your deepest secrets, Harry”.

Louder the voice grew to pick out Harry by name almost yelling “Talk to me Harry, help me, I love you”. Except this voice sounds family, its Harry’s wife! Yelling for him in the distance. John grabs his arm tight trying to keep him back, but it does not stop Harry from leaving John tearing off his duct tape yelling after his wife “I’m coming to you Melissa!”.

Before Harry was able to get too far away from John a blinding light appeared knocking them both back. Then a holographic figure arose from the ground taking a weeping Harry in its grasp. “IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY PLEASE FORGI..” “A distinct gurgle is heard from Harry and he is thrown back on the dirt floor.

As soon as the figured appeared it was gone, leaving John and Harry alone in the dark cave again. John grabbed Harry and the two-run as fast as they can out of the cave leaving all their things behind.

Once outside John is yelling at Harry “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING I WARNED YOU HOW COULD YOU”.

Still stunned, Harry, white as a ghost and for the first time had nothing to say because he had no voice. It was stolen by the Voice Grabber.

Authors Note: 
This story is a retelling of The Turtle and the Geese with the main plot staying the same as one of the main characters not keeping their mouth closed when they should along. However, I added in my personal twists with some other new bits to the storyline. 

Bibliography:
The Turtle who Couldn't Stop Talking  from Jaraka tales by Ellen C. Babbit 

3 comments:

  1. Hi Maria,
    I love this story! This is such a clever way of telling this Jataka tale. At first reading this, I didn't even know like what the original would be. You changed it completely, but it still has the same basic moral of the benefits of keeping your mouth closed. I really adore the emotions you put into writing this story because I felt like I was the characters going through this obstacle. I wonder what your inspiration behind this story was. Like what made you want to write about a voice grabber? This kinda sounds like a Greek myth of some kind. Lastly, I have some questions. What would have happened if Harry did not speak up? What were they looking for in this cave? I wonder where the name of the Voice Grabber (rebbarg eciov) came from. What would be John's weakness since Harry's weakness was his wife?
    I can't wait to read more of your creative stories!

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  2. I loved the rendition you played on the story. I thought the original story was great, but you added some spice to it. Adding a southern "ope", reversing some language, and providing some comic relief. You also did a great job of integrating dialogue into the writing. It's something I struggle with so it was nice to be able to look at how you effectively intertwined it in a non-generic way that I could still follow as I read. The story itself had an intricate flow that still told tale with reason. Nice job!

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  3. Maria,

    I loved this story, I was so interested the whole time! I am very into scary movies and I felt like I was reading right from a script. You have such a clear talent for writing, it's awesome. I really like how you made Harry decide his own fate after being kind of mean to his friend. It is such a good lesson to think before speaking and that seemed like a theme you chose!

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